Friday, April 8, 2011
You know, it's funny how the old reactions are still built in. When we pulled up, there were a bunch of cars at the elementary school by the playground I wanted to go to. I had that panicky feeling inside and I said "oh, there are people here" which I wanted to follow up with "let's go" or "let's wait until practice is over." Apparently the Mr thought "we'll just wait until that lady with her daughter leave." Then we both thought "F it" and got out of the car. We sat on the swings talking and reminiscing. It was so nice to just forget about the adult world for awhile. Then as the pee wee game was winding down, 3 boys the ages of maybe 5, 7 and 12 came over to the swings where we were. Again, that knee jerk reaction of wanting to leave before they got there kicked in. We all know how young boys can be quick with the insults or pointing and giggling and coming up with nursery rhymes with the word "fat" in it. We sat, continuing our conversation on the swings as they created a ruckus around us, flipping the swings over the bar to make them higher, screaming, burying toys in the gravel, etc. We joked that we looked like the parents embarrassed about how bad their kid was doing in practice and escaped to the playground. When the practice was called the Mr asked if I was ready to go since it was just past dusk and I said yes. Again, that instinct of waiting for them to hurl insults as we walked away was strong. My ears were extra perked listening for a word that even sounded like fat or lard and while I heard laughing and words, none seemed to be directed my way.
Even with all of the weight lost, I'm nowhere near thin enough to not be the target of childish ridicule. I can honestly say I don't think that has happened in years and I can't even recall when but I suppose those playground memories come flooding back in more ways than one. I don't know at what weight I will ever feel like that won't be an issue but I'll be glad to get there one day!
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Labels: Deep Thoughts